


I cannot seem to die

by Neila_Nuruodo



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Other, Poetry, very light shipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:07:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24401809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neila_Nuruodo/pseuds/Neila_Nuruodo
Summary: Free-form poetry for Elidibus.
Relationships: Elidibus/Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 15





	I cannot seem to die

**Author's Note:**

> "The soul yearns for honor, and the flesh the hereafter..."

A voice is crying out, a voice I know,  
The voice of a friend, of a foe-  
Prepare ye the way…  
For the old are dreaming dreams, and the young see visions-  
A vision of the past, of the—of _our_ end.  
A voice is calling out, a call to arms  
I do not hear it alone.  
Those who hear it rise up; those who feel moved to aid others journey forth.  
They, we, think we know how to save this world-  
Salvation unlike any this world has known.

I reach out, stretch out, hands outstretched toward you,  
But one more in the crowd of those who crave your benediction.  
Could I but touch the hem of your robe, receive of you in this way  
-this precious theft, would you begrudge me that?  
Would you call me down from my sycamore perch  
Would you permit me to kneel at your feet, tip forth the perfume, sop it with my hair?  
An anointing, a preparation for that which must come, which _must_ come  
Though we seek to deny it, decry it-  
Though all my heart proclaims it can't abide it-  
It does not lie within our power to defy it.

You stop beneath the stately boughs; you look at me. You call my name.  
You are going to visit my home away from home, and best I am there as well.

After all I have done, naught but action will suffice-  
I give of myself, a living, loving sacrifice  
I give myself to you, for who else could know me?  
My hands and feet, my heart to beat, my warmth on your skin-  
Needful and weighty, a promise, a plea,  
If I cannot remember you (would you remember me?)  
If death seals away memory, if mocking rebirth cleanses me-  
If life eternal lies outside my reach  
Still love eternal might lie beside me,  
For a, for _my_ brief span… please stay beside me.  
Through you alone might I touch eternity.

I taste vinegar from your lips,  
Sour truth and agony, the weight laid upon you  
Though I would lift you up, exalt you, raise you-  
I am just another burden to weigh you down, an unbalanced load.  
My kiss can only betray you, my coin buy only death.  
Turn your face from me and proclaim you know me not;  
Cast me into the outer darkness-  
Better that than I add even the featherweight of my heart  
To the burden crushing you.  
But I am not the guiding hand-  
I am but the weapon, the spear striking your side  
The only vulnerability.  
(For what but a broken heart could kill immortality?)

If I must bury you, it shall be beside me.

**Author's Note:**

> "Do not stand at my grave and cry,  
> I am not there; I did not die."
> 
> (Mary Elizabeth Frye)


End file.
